Why I Didn't Post Last Week

So, I've been getting a few remarks as to why I didn't write an article and post it last week. Most people have been saying its because I'm lazy and apathetic, and I have to go and prove the naysayers wrong. There's actually been a lot going on in my life. For example, just last night, I heard my parents arguing about who got the privilege of killing me. As you can probably imagine, I was quite emotionally distraught and too scared to hunch over a computer writing when my mom could silently open the door, and bash my skull in with a rolling pin. With spikes attached to it. And sharks. Yeah.

Seems legit.

Top 5 Hated Video Game Characters

As promised, a day late.

As this is my first official article, I figured I should write about something that occupied the majority of my childhood: video games. The main character in all video games is someone who holds the entire thing together. He should be connectable, interesting and with very few foibles. While I'm not necessarily talking about main characters, none of these select individuals have any of the qualities listed above, making them my Top 5 Hated Video Game characters!

Welcome to I Have no Hands and I must Type

Dear readers, all of whom are my mother,

I have no Hands and I must Type is my way of communicating my views and questionable writing skills to the people of the internet, who always give constructive criticism and value others' ideals. I will be posting an article of some sort every Saturday, but since I'm an heinous procrastinator, check this blog on Sunday to see a new article. These articles will be chocked full of information you will never use in your life. EVER.

Above: NEVER.

But it is my hope and dream that somebody will stumble across this blog, and crack a smile, laugh or even groan at my musings. So by all means, if you've found my blog to be so bad you want to show other people the writing atrocities I've committed, share this site with everyone you know. Please keep my mom company.

Your son,

Caleb the Great.