Top 5 Reasons that Keep me From Posting

A lot of people have noticed that I'm maybe, kinda, sort-of not the most punctual person when it comes to posting. Okay, who am I kidding, I am the least punctual person since Gandalf rode into Helm's Deep.

We could've used you about an hour ago, you know, THAT TIME WHEN THOUSANDS OF FATHERS, HUSBANDS, AND CHILDREN TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHAT A SWORD IS, LET ALONE WEILD ONE GOT SLAUGHTERED BY CREATURES BRED TO KILL. OH, AND LET US NOT FORGET THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA YOU CAUSED THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN IN THE CAVES, WHO WERE AWAITING, NAY EXPECTING, THE URUK'HAI TO RUSH PAST THE DEFENCES AND LAY WASTE TO EVERY MAN, WOMAN, AND CHILD, MAKING SURE THE PEOPLE OF ROHAN WERE WIPED FROM THE FACE OF MIDDLE EARTH. But, you predicted exactly what time you would arrive three days in advance. Yeah, we get it. You're a bad ass.

But, no matter how many times I apologize, I always feel as though it isn't enough. So, for a change of pace, I want to put my wonderful, perfect, extremely attractive readers in my position. This is my Top 5 Reasons that Keep me From Posting!

#5 – School Work

As exams loom on the dark horizon, I feel compelled to talk about this subject. I hold an immeasurable amount of sympathy for teachers. All they want to do is prepare the future generation for what ever may come their way, but there's always the little jerk-off who sits in the back of the room, and you know who you are (me), who make their lives a living hell.

What's that Mr. Johnson? I couldn't hear you over my OBNOXIOUSNESS.

However, every teacher seems to think that their course is the only course in this entire decrepit world. Who cares if you have Social Studies test the next day, and a 500 word English essay that's due tomorrow? HERE!! Have 42 physics questions that are due so that I know you studied for the quiz tomorrow (this legitimately happened to me).

I don't want to sound like the stereotypical high school teenager, but it's like teachers have this insatiable desire to give more work than is actually needed. It's almost as if they think I don't have a life or something... Well, I'm an honours kid who spends the majority of my time on the computer. Do the math.

To which I proudly reply, “gladly”.

#4 – Being a Drummer

Being a drummer has its certain benefits.

1. It's the one of the only instruments that requires a lot of physical effort, which increases the heart rate and makes you more physically fit.
2. People actually take your instrument seriously. If someone walks up to you and asks you what you play, they will be genuinely interested in what what you do, as opposed to the clarinet...
3. You get to hit things with sticks and call it art.
   
   

Above: not art. Drumming: art!

However, one thing it curses you with, is the ability to practice ANYWHERE. And you can never turn it off. A lecture that is imperative to you passing a class? Let's practice the heel-toe technique on the ground, it sounds kind of like a bass drum. Praying before a meal? Man, this sure seems like as good a time as any to para-diddle on the table to improve stick control. This fact coupling with my apparent ADD has screwed me over on multiple occasions.

#3 – Laziness

You don't have to be Sherlock friggin' Holmes to figure out that this is a problem with me. I'm a regular teenager, (as much as doctors like to try and convince me otherwise) and with that comes a staggering amount of apathy. Like, so much apathy, that um, I'm not going to try to make a joke using a funny picture below.

When I first started this blog, I promised myself I would make a backlog of articles so if I did get writers block, or just wasn't feeling up to writing, I could just pull one up, insert pictures, and post. But I didn't. I'm so lazy, this I'm not going to finish this sentence. Wait, crap. Screwed that one up. Hey, don't look at me, I don't wanna change it.

#2 – Social Networking

I've lumped all the social networking sites such as YouTube, Facebook, MySpace (HAHA JUST KIDDING), and Twitter because they're all one collective, addictive poison. They all have their own appeal and they suck you in. Once your in, it's nigh impossible to get out, because they make life so damn easy.

I spend around 3 hours on my computer DAILY. Out of that, I probably spend all but 5-10 minutes on something else other than chatting with distant friends on Facebook, stalking celebrities on Twitter (ILOVEYOUSELENAGOMEZ), or watching cat videos on Youtube.

Silly kitty, you can't catch a laser.

#1 – Tiny Tower

Freaking Tiny Tower. Ever since my friends got me hooked on this game, I've been on it approximately every 10 minutes. This game is as addictive as crystal metajuanacaine. You start out with a humble, two-story tower, with naught but a lobby, a storage room that people call an apartment to your name. Over time, you build businesses, and once you do, you can assign jobs to the people who live in your “tiny tower” complex. These people have dream jobs, and stats that make them more efficient at their job.

Curse you, Willie Chavez!!

This game can easily distract you from the task at hand. They start you out with nothing, then as time takes its toll, you grow. And with this growth comes great accomplishment, which makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I like to call this the Farmville Effect, in which a person who views the game without playing it finds it stupid (which it is) because they haven't truly experienced what the player has gone through. This gives the player a sense of attachment that can be found only in pencils named Steve.

Caleb the I-Checked-Tiny-Tower-23-Times-While-I-Was-Writing-This


Please share this blog with your friends, comment, and follow.  It may seem like an insignificant act, but it shows that people care about my writing, which will motivate me to do it. Follow me at twitter.com/handlesswriter for updates about the site.